Tenet ★★

Imagine Inception but without the characters explaining to a wandering pawn Ellen Page what the rules are in a coherent way - instead it's just some people who we don't see in the movie again telling the main character the rules and delivering exposition which is - amazingly - both unnecessary and insufficient.

It's not that I didn't understand the lines - though sound mixing is hilariously awful - it's that I had no idea why the events are happening and what purpose are they supposed to serve. And Nolan isn't David Lynch, a filmmaker who actually deserves the praise he is getting, so I'm not spending a minute longer trying to figure out the plot. Watching this movie should have been sufficient, and it hasn't. I laughed out loud when during one of the clumsy exposition scenes, the protagonist asks how those things are possible and he is told "don't try to understand it". I don't EVER wanna read what "brilliant" writer Nolan is.

At that point I have to conclude that Nolan is either sexist or doesn't care about how sexist he looks. In either case - fuck him. An incredibly gifted actress Elizabeth Debicki was handed material to work with that was so cliche and so firmly into "Bond girl from the 60's" outdated territory that it was truly insulting to witness. I'm not unreasonable - I didn't have an issue with Dunkirk's lack of female characters, given its setting. But this?! With Nolan's abysmal track record he should have made a woman a lead in this, or at least give her something better than a tired and infuriating backstory. But no. He did this.

And it's not even like the action set pieces are fun to watch or that innovative, the whole story is so derivative and there are lines here that are just shockingly awful like "if I can't have you, no one else will". The only times this was enjoyable was when Battinson was having fun on the screen. And kudos to Branagh for clearly realizing what mess he was in, saying "fuck it" and hamming it up as much as he possibly could, Michael Shannon in Man of Steel-style.

Also - WB, how dare you attach Dune teaser to this in some countries but not the others? How dare you not release it online during the pandemic? BTW that teaser is better than this entire movie and if that's Zimmer's original score for it then it already sounds absolutely amazing.

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