Handy has written 5 reviews for films rated .

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    FERRIS BUELLER'S DINO OFF:

    This is the worst Godzilla film of all, which is odd since it had more money and resources than any ten Japanese films. Unfortunately, they only spent fifty cents on ideas for the characters and a dollar on the plot.

    And this movie is chicken shit, because the original cause for Godzilla is American testing with nuclear weapons that mutate creatures and set loose a vengeance Godzilla who mashes up Japan like the Americans did with…

  • Shithouse

    Shithouse

    CONVENIENT TITLE FOR THIS MOVIE.

    I remember in my teens reading a review of "Catcher in the Rye" where an old geezer critic wrote that "All Holden Caulfield needs is a kick in the butt." Since I was Holden's age and the feelings were very strong but my ability to articulate them was weak, I was offended by this geezer not understanding the brilliance of this character.

    As a 60-year old geezer this morning, I have some of that same…

  • Goodbye to Language

    Goodbye to Language

    WHAT I DID DURING SUMMER BREAK WITH MY DOG


    -by Jean Luc Godard.


    This thing is almost a parody of itself, Jean Luc: you've finally figured out that if you have the girl take her clothes off, we'll listen to her spout your theories on literature, culture, consumersm, colonialism, and philosophy.

    yeah, we'll hear the words. But we're not listening to your ideas.


    We're watching the naked girl.


    Move along, folks. There's no film to see here.

  • Tout Va Bien

    Tout Va Bien

    TOUT NO VA BIEN.

    So this is what JLG looks like with no money. This is a student film with Jane Fonda in it as a vanity project.


    The settings are cheap paste board--though I can see where Wes Anderson got his Time Life cross section ideas--the characters are silly and paper thin, and the blood stained action is clumsy.


    If you want to write an essay, write an essay.
    If you want to make a film, make a film.
    But you suck at trying to make a film an essay, Jean-Luc.

  • Film Socialisme

    Film Socialisme

    Oh, Godard. Blech. I understand that you now get to edit films on your laptop like the rest of us, and that you've found how to re-color them easily. But this film is a wasted of my time.


    Roses:

    Fresh new cinematic experiments

    As an essay about colonialism and consumer culture, it kinda works

    There are clearly ideas here, but none stick with me long enough to
    actually consider them.



    Thorns:

    The Brechtian Diversions--sound cutouts and such--are silly and
    amateurish…