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  • Spider Baby

    Spider Baby

    ★★★★★

    Unconditional love and the ties that bind us forever are forgotten relics in an age where you can pay someone else to take care of your obnoxious kids or senile grandpa. Long Chaney Jr. Is absolutely amazing and this is one of the purest portrayals of fatherly love ever filmed.

    Virginia, call me.

  • Death Run

    Death Run

    ★★½

    This is basically Cormac McCarthy's The Road only less boring.

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  • Avatar 2

    Avatar 2

    ★★★★★

    James Cameron is going to save the world with this movie.

  • Star Trek Into Darkness

    Star Trek Into Darkness

    What happens when a director with no talent and no ideas has to follow up his inexplicably popular but terrible first film with a hotly anticipated sequel? Why, an even worse movie that sinks the franchise of course. But enough about Rise of Skywalker, this sucks shit too.