Abbie Phelps

Abbie Phelps

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Trans girl. Trying to nod my head but it's like I've got a broken neck.

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  • Her

    Her

    When I first saw this movie, freshman year of college, I was miserable. Part of that was your garden-variety anxiety and depression, which I still suffer from. Another part was that I was trans and didn't yet know it. But another part was that I was not a good person.

    Not to say that I am one now. But at the time, I was so much worse. I was selfish, arrogant, and bitter, and the year prior I'd permanently destroyed…

  • True Grit

    True Grit

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Watching the Coen brothers’ rendition of True Grit is akin to watching something Shakespeare might have written, had Shakespeare been born in 19th-century America. There’s always a level of unreality to the dialogue in the Coens’ films, but True Grit is unique in just how bizarre its characters’ speech is. There is perhaps no better example of this than a jibe Rooster Cogburn, the drunken, grizzled U. S. marshal, makes at the expense of the foppish Texas Ranger LaBouef:

    I’m…

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  • Furious 7

    Furious 7

    ★★½

    The occasional ruminations on mortality are laden with poignancy, and while I don't think Brian's ending works in the context of the series—the last few films have reduced him to Dom's supporting character rather than a co-lead, leaving this film with little dramatic thread to stitch things up—in its real-world context it's incredibly moving. I just wish the rest of the film had been worthy of that ending—instead, we get a sallow, frequently incoherent mess of self-indulgence. Wan is no…

  • The Sorcerer's Apprentice

    The Sorcerer's Apprentice

    ★★½

    Sometimes the only thing that can stop occult 9/11 is a healthy dose of BDSM.

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  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Honestly feels like the only one of these that matters sometimes - not a great film, not a fully uncompromised piece of cinema, but a work of art with a clear vision of what its subjects mean for the world beyond their own individual foibles. While that implies a turgid clash of philosophies, Snyder hangs his entry-level theological trappings on a trio of broken men desperately trying to either live up to or avenge the expectations thrust upon them by…

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★½

    People will say this is a slow-burn with timely themes when it's really just a completely self-serious, monochrome bore that plods on for 150 minutes (!) and tries to connect the ridiculous campiness of the original with Big Themes of the Holocaust and guilt and it's just fucking insufferable. It's a "prestige" horror movie that's embarrassed to be a horror movie. I'm not even a huge fan of the original, but Argento knew EXACTLY what he was making and just…