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  • A Quiet Place Part II

    A Quiet Place Part II

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    With all the gratuitous product placement in the opening scene, you'd think the aliens invaded so they could get some of that sweet Pepsi: nectar of the gods.
    Pre-title sequence is honestly kino. Works as a short film. Not quite self-contained like Midsommar's opening scene, but effectively creepy in its own right. I like hearing the birds chirping before the chaos, is that weird? Everybody looking up at rock slowly burning through the sky. I'd do the same.
    Cillian Murphy…

  • Pluto's Judgement Day

    Pluto's Judgement Day

    ★★★★½

    It took me 3 and a half thousand films, but I finally found one great Pluto short.

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  • Mother

    Mother

    ★★★½

    I will never receive an explanation for why the credits sequence is the way it is. It will haunt me until I die.

  • Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure

    Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure

    ★★★½

    The moral of the story is never leave your room because hell awaits you, b̦͓̟̦̬̼u̯͈̬̠͚t͇͇̹̼ ͎h̤͉̲ẹ̤l͚̟̻̱̦͔ͅḽ̼̺̠̯̥͈ ̳̩i͉̼̩͇̤̰̠s̥̗̻͖̱ ̹͔̤̟a͍l̬̰̺͓͓̗͈s͙͇̣̲̰͈͚o̺̬ ̺a͍̱͔ṱ ̱̦h̫̻̹o̖̺̤me̤̜̬͔ͅ,͖̯͚̞͎̹̖ ͓̺̻̭̻s͚̰̤̮͓o͎̼̣̩̣͇̞ ̙̩̜͙̖y̭̬̖̣ou̥͕͖͈̪'̝͚͉͕̞̙r̲̝̮e͔ ̯͙͚p̦̠͔̭̘̟r͎̖e̪̟̰̲t̙͔͙t̜͔̙y̜̘̘ͅ ̣m̭u̲͙ch͍͔ ̬̻̰̺f͉̣u̬̳̥̼͈̤̻c̟͍̯̠̭̳̳k̬͖̹̰̙e͎͚̘̪̟d̥̟͔͕͇ͅ e̩̹͓i̱̜̲̪t̰h͎e̱̼̩̼ṟ̞̩͖ ̮̭͕̻w̩͎͔͕̞a͈̭͈y͕̹̤.̰̰̠̖̩̪͎

    We're all adults here. This is not for kids. I mean, it was probably intended for kids, but it shouldn't be watched by them. Cue this Oxford study on child development among plenty of others you can find yourself, that would probably consider this film a trigger for long-lasting damage on impressionable minds…