• Dune

    Dune

    ★★★★½

    Finally… a real movie… I loved it so much I just wanted more hense the half star. I know it would have been boringer but I don’t care fuck you I want to watch them play house in their mansion for a little longer


    Also just wanted to say one thing that really drags this movie down is the attempt to preserve a particular plot point as a **shocking** twist even though in the book the information is known by…

  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    ★★½

    You don’t need drugs. This movie will make you feel high

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    ★★★½

    bus scene = 5 stars but the slow pacing, random plot elements added 60+ minutes into the runtime, and jokes that overstay their welcome make this feel like a good movie held back by marvel crap. especially the costume design condemning Shang-chi and his family to the typical "nano fiber" tony stark ass t-shirts next to the ta-lo village's full color full body outfits. sad... still had fun tho

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★

    Terrible movie to watch while high. He talks too fast. The background music was loud in every scene I couldn’t even hear what people were saying and I constantly thought something bad was gonna happen like that the zip line to the pool would kill somebody.

    All I wanted to do when this movie ended was to google “is Andrew Garfield happy?” The entire film I just wanted to put bread on the sides of his head and squeeze his elongated skull.

  • Horse Girl

    Horse Girl

    ★★★

    What the fuck lol

  • Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

    Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

    ★★★★★

    Broke: birdman ending is a metaphor for death of ego blah blah blah he died three four five times in the movie he’s trapped in purgatory, he was dead the whole time and the movie is his hell ‬everything is his state of mind idk whatever else people say

    Woke: actually he can fly and it’s epic ‬

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★½

    A fun time!!

    Great characters, amazing set design, and an insanely talented cast with wonderful scene-to-scene choreography. 

    I would love for the sequel to be the same cast playing different characters but... alas, the world only cares about slapstick 007.

  • American Beauty

    American Beauty

    ★★★★

    I thought I would hate this movie tbh, but I honestly liked every part except the grown man trying to sex it up with a teenager... at least it didn’t like, actually happen, but you know what they say: it’s the thought that counts. So... the ending was kind of a serve. Homophobia won!

    Would I watch it again tho? Nah. 

    My opinion of it is probably also tainted unfortunately by the hindsight of knowing all the dirt about Kevin Spacey, but I felt like this was one of those movies I had to see to form my own opinion on.

  • Julie & Julia

    Julie & Julia

    ★★★★

    I cried like a bitch

  • Enemy

    Enemy

    ★★★½

    Wtf did I just saw

  • Sing

    Sing

    i would rate this movie higher if the main protagonist wasnt a stupid fucking koala i hate koalas so much the entire time i watched this i imagined Buster (the koala) eating his mom's diarrhea as a baby. his brain is smooth and thats why his theatre went to shit. maybe if he was a better animal everyone wouldnt hate him so much.

  • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    stupid stupid stupid so many plotholes, they killed meryl streep the only good thing is dominic cooper being sexy as hell everything else is dumb and they made cher the grandma even though the grandma was supposed to be dead i hate this shit movie it also made it cry so stupid dumb and awful