• Dear Evan Hansen

    Dear Evan Hansen

    ★★

    it begins terribly, becomes decent enough for the rest of what constitutes act one onstage, and is bafflingly emotionless for the remainder. ben platt was great onstage, but almost none of it translates to the screen. at least they gave alana a personality this time!

  • Everybody's Talking About Jamie

    Everybody's Talking About Jamie

    ★★★½

    the last third was much weaker than the rest, but otherwise it’s so big-hearted and glittery that you can’t help but tear up (which i did! twice!). also, “work of art” is the definition of a banger

  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    ★★★½

    maybe too high of a rating, but there were dragons and actually engaging fight scenes (the bus brawl is elite!) and tony leung with his rolled up shirtsleeves — and to me, that’s cinema. a fine addition to my small collection of enjoyable mcu movies!

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    ★★★½

    no one:
    my brain in the middle of class:
    yo is this a dog? what? is this thing a dog? a dog? what kind of dog do you think it is, mate? i don’t know, i’m not familiar with all the breeds. i’m gonna go with afghan hound. since when does an afghan hound have bloody thumbs? oh my gosh, is it a werewolf? i’ve wanted to meet a werewolf forever! YO, THEY SAT ME NEXT TO A WEREWOLF? LET…

  • Pitch Perfect

    Pitch Perfect

    ★★★

    sometimes i miss the era in middle school where everyone was doing the cup song 24/7 and people were quoting fat amy nonstop

  • Suicide Squad

    Suicide Squad

    ★★

    can’t believe viola davis’s supporting actress oscar was for her delivery of “pyrokinetic homeboy” in this film

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    ★★★½

    i love weird ensemble casts so much it is insane! my sister had me replay polka-dot man saying, “oh fizzlesticks” three times

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    ★★★½

    tonally, all over the place; humor-wise, hit or miss; still, great characters and some very good action + team scenes! i miss you, katana </3

  • The Green Knight

    The Green Knight

    ★★★½

    three stars for the Vibes & dev patel being fantastic (and very beautiful), an extra half star for me being so excited to return to theaters that i forgot my ID and had to get my friend to act as my adult guardian

  • Booksmart

    Booksmart

    ★★★★½

    my favorite underrated joke in this movie is that the playlist jared has on in the car is called “FUCK JAMS”

  • Descendants 2

    Descendants 2

    it’s been four years and i still have gender envy for harry hook 😔

  • The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

    The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

    “why is he [r. patz] so hairy?” —my sister
    “because he’s a WEREWOLF, pay ATTENTION” —my cousin