Eli Brownstone

Eli Brownstone


Oscars 2025 - 2026 stay tuned.
Still waiting for that 5/5

Favorite films

  • The Guest
  • Heat
  • In Bruges
  • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Recent activity

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage


  • The Favourite


  • Phantom of the Paradise


Pinned reviews

  • Paddington 2

    Paddington 2


    I've never seen or heard anyone deliver the line "Marmelade?" with such genuine, innocent childlike wonder. Brendan Gleeson is a genius.
    A big, scary, rough looking guy who "practically invented the hard stare", experiencing something like that in such an honest and almost fragile way. Never has a perfomance been more palpable. That shy, but definitely present, spark of curiosity in his fucking eyes, completely forgetting to maintain his "big, scary, rough looking guy persona". All this whilst staring like…

  • Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

    Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga


    I'd be fooling myself claiming I'm straight after seeing Dan Stevens:
    - With a thick russian accent
    - luscious hair
    - piercing blue eyes
    - a giant girthy snake penis
    - rich as fuck
    - wearing ridiculous glittery baroque print
    - singing about lions, the savanna and love WHILST dancing
    - accompanied by shirtless male dancers

    Ja ja ding dong

Recent reviews


Popular reviews

  • The Twins

    The Twins


    I'm sorry I can't take shit like this seriously when that stupid ass slug from last episode is still on my mind.

  • Étangs Noirs

    Étangs Noirs


    You know those moments during horror movies where the characters make the most stupid decisions and you're just left sitting there wondering WHY? often followed by anger and/or annoyance.
    That feeling... Well I just sat through 1h11m of it. At first the vagueness of what and why Jimi does what he does is actually quite interesting (really!). But after 30 MAYBE 40 minutes I just didn't care anymore and as soon as you lose interest this movie just starts dragging and dragging. Nothing made sense. Hard to believe it was actually quite a short movie.