disneydreamdiary has written 27 reviews for films with no rating.

  • La Flor

    La Flor

    Absurd runtimes are just 3D for the arthouse crowd.

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    This was on in the background and I only saw most of it so it wasn't as bad as if I had seen all of it.

  • Chef

    Chef

    This film was recommended to me by a young man working concessions at a local cineplex. I did not know it was an internet meme until after having watched it, but when I returned to declare it "the Citizen Kane of culinary films," the popcorn peddler smiled and said "Glad you liked it!"

    This marks the only time in my life I have been doublememed and from that day on I decided never to do, say, or even think anything ironically ever again. I strongly encourage you to do the same lest you suffer a similar fate.

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    The only good part of this was when some girl in my theater gasped really loudly when Ken Watanabe said "We call him... Gojira."

    Jeering in public movie screenings and being my girlfriend should be encouraged but only if you are that girl.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    A Starbucks cup plonked luxuriantly on the set of Game of Thrones for everyone at home to ogle engendered a certain fetishism on the internet for a few days, a kind of physical revelation that this violent medieval fantasy world is a one we can never actually inhabit, if only for risk of depriving it of its spiritual quality, which is partly nested in our ability to enjoy it whilst drinking Starbucks; but also a reminder that this quality is…

  • Coffy

    Coffy

    Take a shot every time Pam Grier's tits don't come bursting all the way out of her shirt and by the end you'll be completely sober. A film so anti-bra it makes Captain Marvel look positively reactionary.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    Next order of business is to travel back in time and prevent Jon Favreau from collecting the Infinity Dollars.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Mommy, if everyone was in heaven, why did Iron Man bring them all back?

  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    Really liked the part where she turned to the camera and said "You're irrelevant, sweetie."

  • The Pervert's Guide to Ideology

    The Pervert's Guide to Ideology

    The sheer irony of Žižek saying "There is no God," right before appearing on screen.

    Then explain yourself, Slavoj. Explain this doki doki feeling in my heart whenever I see you.

  • Mister Lonely

    Mister Lonely

    In the tradition of Harmful's first two films, any attempt to critically analyze this renders me a dummy baby, but the age-old questions still pile up, like: Is this guy deadass forrealsies? Why did he decide to make a bad movie instead of a good movie? Is he a true Christian or just an ironic candyass? Is your only shot at belonging to merely live among fellow personae? What if you're just a third-rate lily-white Michael Jackson impersonator and the Marilyn Monroe wannabe you might love is married to Charlie Chaplin as Adolf Hitler with a sunburn fetish?

  • Gummo

    Gummo

    Critics hate him!

    Edit: It’s tempting to send this off with a meme and a wink but it’s far too affecting, and not even intrinsically due to its content. Gummo isn’t designed to test the limits of our critical faculties but rather the limits of empathy in all who view it. This isn’t to say those who dislike it lack empathy, but that it isn’t a film to judge based on a like or dislike basis; rather a strong to…