disneydreamdiary has written 20 reviews for films with no rating during 2019.

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    I know it's cool to hate on these movies now so in the spirit of Christmas I will say in this one's favor that it was an incredibly pleasant surprise when about 90 minutes in I turned off my PS3 and never finished it.

  • Playmobil: The Movie

    Playmobil: The Movie

    You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

  • KonoSuba: God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! Legend of Crimson
  • Ford v Ferrari

    Ford v Ferrari

    A few screenplay ideas I've got on the backburner let me know what you guys think:

    Mac v PC
    Coke v Pepsi
    Nike v Reebok
    Xbox v Playstation
    Disney v Fleischer
    Star Wars v Star Trek
    Pokemon v Digimon
    Backstreet Boys v *NSYNC
    4chan v Reddit
    Superman v Goku
    Pro-Skub v Anti-Skub
    Boobs v Butt
    Ladies v Butlers
    Pirates v Ninjas
    Marvel v Capcom
    Ballistic: Ecks v Sever 2
    What You See v What She Sees
    Player 1 v Fighting Polygon Team
    Alien v Predator v Freddy v Jason v King Kong v Godzilla
    Grudgematch: Man v Society v Nature v Machine v God v Himself

  • Promare

    Promare

    Does for flaming homosexuality what Dead Leaves did for recursive jailbreak fairytales, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann did for coital cave allegories, Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt did for striptease angelology, Kill la Kill did for uterine midriff vengeance and Trigger's last decent output, Space Patrol Luluco, did for a maiden's pure heart.

    That's not to say Promare is as good, or at least as inspired as any of them. The character designs are a bit bland compared to those featured in…

  • La Flor

    La Flor

    Absurd runtimes are just 3D for the arthouse crowd.

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    This was on in the background and I only saw most of it so it wasn't as bad as if I had seen all of it.

  • Chef

    Chef

    This film was recommended to me by a young man working concessions at a local cineplex. I did not know it was an internet meme until after having watched it, but when I returned to declare it "the Citizen Kane of culinary films," the popcorn peddler smiled and said "Glad you liked it!"

    This marks the only time in my life I have been doublememed and from that day on I decided never to do, say, or even think anything ironically ever again. I strongly encourage you to do the same lest you suffer a similar fate.

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    The only good part of this was when some girl in my theater gasped really loudly when Ken Watanabe said "We call him... Gojira."

    Jeering in public movie screenings and being my girlfriend should be encouraged but only if you are that girl.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    A Starbucks cup plonked luxuriantly on the set of Game of Thrones for everyone at home to ogle engendered a certain fetishism on the internet for a few days, a kind of physical revelation that this violent medieval fantasy world is a one we can never actually inhabit, if only for risk of depriving it of its spiritual quality, which is partly nested in our ability to enjoy it whilst drinking Starbucks; but also a reminder that this quality is…

  • Coffy

    Coffy

    Take a shot every time Pam Grier's tits don't come bursting all the way out of her shirt and by the end you'll be completely sober. A film so anti-bra it makes Captain Marvel look positively reactionary.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    Next order of business is to travel back in time and prevent Jon Favreau from collecting the Infinity Dollars.