Joseph Howell

Joseph Howell

Larry King Says "Don't Say a Word" is “a thriller to end all thrillers."

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  • Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

    Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

    ★★

    The Resident Evil  movie franchise finally comes to an end (well, until that one which is supposed to come out in November), and...it’s the conclusion, I’ll give you that.

    What’s funny is that on paper, this should work. Hell, it should be the best entry in the franchise-plenty of monsters, gore, physical combat and a shockingly nice wrap up. It’s also obvious Paul WS Anderson made this with the fans in mind, and good for him. The problem? The editor, who…

  • The Cellar

    The Cellar

    ★★½

    Okay...but that’s about it. Director Kevin S Tenney was given the thankless job of finishing this movie, and even in its directors cut its a muddled affair. I mean, it’s far from terrible-the acting is better than this kind of thing tends to get (and features a rare regular guy role for character actor Patrick Kilpatrick) there’s some decent moments of suspense and there’s some shockingly interesting family drama going on. Unfortunately, it never really goes for much-the atmosphere and…

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  • Zombie 3

    Zombie 3

    ★★★★

    I’m feeling better, Patricia, but I’m thirsty...FOR YOUR BRAINS!!!!

    Before you read the rest of my review, I want you to read the above slice of absurd dialogue so it can sink in.

    Done reading that? Good, onto my thoughts.

    Intended as a comeback vehicle for Lucio Fulci but finished by Bruno Mattei due to the latter’s health issues, Zombi 3 is a glorious hunk of Italian horror cheese. You can actually tell at times who directed what scene-moments such as…

  • Saint Maud

    Saint Maud

    ★★★★½

    I don’t know about you, but with the exception of Possesor and Gretel & Hansel, the more recent art house horror films (fuck that “elevated” bullshit) have left me...wanting. They either feel too much like they are trying to be the new Hereditary (hello Relic and The Lodge), forget scares altogether (The Power and The Beach) or were nice attempts that didn’t work for me (The Rental and The Wretched). It certainly didn’t help that so many of them have felt familiar-slow burn,…