Daniel Patterson

Daniel Patterson


turn off everyone’s motion smoothing for eternal good luck

Favorite films

  • Before Sunset
  • The Social Network
  • The Matrix
  • In the Mood for Love

Recent activity

  • Memoria


  • Anna and the Apocalypse


  • Scream


  • Scream 4


Pinned reviews

  • Scream



    The Force Awakens direct beat-by-beat fan service homages + The Last Jedi’s (occasional, in this) bold choices and surprisingly emotional legacy character performances + The Rise of Skywalker’s endless fake-out deaths and hilariously silly retconning = Scream (2022)!

  • Licorice Pizza

    Licorice Pizza


    There’s something so electrifying about the seeing the visceral power of running being depicted so often and so richly. It’s sometimes shown with desperation and other times with a carefreeness so engrained within the texture of the film as a whole. It’s the dichotomy of one having everything in life in front of them and the other feeling as if it’s slipping away—grasping onto anything, or anyone, to feel a sense of purpose.

    Anyway, enough of this highfalutin speak, I’M…

Recent reviews


Popular reviews

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home


    Just over the moon… that we got a hint of that sweet Electro theme!

    Contains some legitimately great Spider-Man moments in a film that feels like it’s built around scene and character-based concepts rather than being a tightly coalesced whole. Thankfully the annoying Disney Channel tone of Far from Home is mostly gone and Holland can give a performance that actually has a bit of weight at points. Still, this feels like fanfic where some of the fanfic is fun,…

  • Eternals



    The Tree of Life for people who watch four movies a year.

    Get ready and prepare your whole body for a slow and painful death via mind-pulverising exposition. Can't believe how one of the most tender and humanist filmmakers on the planet can make something this muddled, meandering and platitudinous (except I kinda can because the mighty mouse house doesn't discriminate). No number of flat golden hour shots can save what could be the worst paced blockbuster of the last…