Favorite films

  • Scream
  • Jennifer's Body
  • It Chapter Two
  • Dead Silence

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  • The Darjeeling Limited

    ★★

  • The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

    ★★★

  • Do the Right Thing

    ★★★

  • Bride Wars

    ★★½

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  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★

    Disarmingly clever. An entire genre defined by its filth and general absurdity deconstructed, saluted, and then condensed to create a near-perfect microcosm.

  • Midnight Mass

    Midnight Mass

    ★★★

    “I saved him, Bev. He was always nice to me.”

    A scarier, more intimate, and frankly more accomplished endeavor than the bloated, overwrought Hill House. The bloodlust of organized religion can be combatted, but never eradicated.

    EPISODE RANKING

    “Book V: Gospels”
    “Book VI: Act of the Apostles”
    “Book VII: Revelation”
    “Book IV: Lamentations”
    “Book III: Proverbs”
    “Book II: Psalms”
    “Book I: Genesis”

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  • Notes from Melanie

    Notes from Melanie

    ★½

    Little more than an excuse for Stuckmann to fellate his idols and declare his alienation with the studio system. Not a single joke lands, neither in dialogue nor in the props that beg for attention in the cluttered background. Both leads are disposable, predictably peppy rom-com airheads.

    Immediately, we realize we’re watching a solid content creator beg for validation. One of his first contributions to the medium he’s made a living criticizing is a plainly desperate failure.

  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    A fucking nightmare akin to a curbstomping. Every image and background reeks of desperation, designed to trick us into believing we’re witnessing something that’s both groundbreaking and authentic to the beauty of nature’s textures. Emotion of any kind is absent, and the distinctions from the first film are wholly insignificant. This is nothing but tasteless mimicry for two torturous hours.

    Cower in disbelief as your fellow moviegoers holler and belly laugh at the same jokes that charmed them in 1994.…