CitizenHAL

Luke warm takes on films
Average Dark Crystal enjoyer
Favorites aren’t top 4, just movies I’m into at the moment
#bobsgotballs

Favorite films

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
  • The Great Escape
  • Dark City
  • The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Recent activity

All
  • Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

    ½

  • Colombiana

    ½

  • La Femme Nikita

    ★★

  • Quest of the Delta Knights

Recent reviews

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  • Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

    Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

    ½

    I genuinely feel nothing for this movie. It’s about an hour and fifty minutes long and not ONCE did I ever care about what was going on. Not a single second held my attention. It just went through one ear and out the other. I literally could not care less about a movie, I was so bored every time I looked back at the screen. Genuine nothingness, absolute boredom incarnate.

  • Colombiana

    Colombiana

    Absolute low tier generic garbage action movie from the same guy who made both Taken sequels. I was ready to say this was better than those movies because Zoe Saldana is sexier than Liam Neeson but unfortunately this is such a stupid story and even dumber characters that I actually am shocked to say that I would honest to god rather watch the awful taken sequels than this ever again. Fuck this movie, fuck Cataleya for being such a horrible person, fuck the piss colored cinematography that these generic action movies think is cool looking.

Popular reviews

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  • Robots

    Robots

    ★★★

    My sister throughout the movie: “Who wrote these lines?”
    Me, holding back tears: “A MAN AHEAD OF HIS TIME!!!”

  • Shrek 2

    Shrek 2

    ★★★★★

    Shrek tells a guy at the elf factory “TGIF” but then the next day they’re at the Poison Apple and Puss mutters “I hate Mondays” after pounding down some milk. That wouldn’t be possible, Monday does not come after Friday. Am I to believe that Shrek was knocked out for two days after drinking the potion? Well I can’t, because the potion says that it wears off at midnight but doesn’t specify midnight two days later. Boy I sure hope somebody got fired for that blunder.