• Crash

    Crash

    ★★

    i remember when i saw this as a ten year old and thinking it was the most profound thing i ever saw, i guess hindsight really is 2020. anyways this is frustrating for obvious reasons but there are slivers of a good movie in here; the interconnected storylines in the backdrop of LA are undoubtedly (to me) compelling but unfortunately every scene is essentially an early 2000s sarah maclachlan-esque music video on how racism is bad. the fact sandra bullock is cured of her racism after falling down the stairs is one of the most baffling things ive ever seen.

  • My Neighbor Totoro

    My Neighbor Totoro

    ★★★★★

    it could all be so simple.

  • The Humans

    The Humans

    ★★★½

    oh okay. i wasn’t expecting to watch this through my fingers but here i am.

  • The Last Duel

    The Last Duel

    ★★★★★

    very few, if any, modern directors know how to do this like ridley does. while im probably biased due to how fascinating i find the middle ages, even if i didnt care - this medieval world is meticulously designed and lived in, the violence being caked in mud and dirt and sweat, its all entirely unglorious and appropriately nasty. and i wasn't expecting the story to be told in the way that it is, and when i realized it was…

  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “what about my ending?” 

    “here it comes.” 

    sometimes it’s nice to watch a fun horror movie on a friday night.

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

    The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

    ★★★★★

    throughout my time on this website ive avoided using the phrase "greatest movie ever made" because i have too many favorite movie candidates but man... should i just go for it? Return of the King is the greatest movie ever made.

  • Licorice Pizza

    Licorice Pizza

    ★★★★★

    “do you dig it?” 

    yes. yes i do.

  • Don't Look Up

    Don't Look Up

    Melancholia for twitter blue checks. physically repulsive.

  • GoldenEye

    GoldenEye

    ★★★½

    i let out the biggest laugh when she said her name was "onnatop". but then i remembered this is the same series where the bond girls names are "pussy galore", "dr goodhead" and "octopussy". the next bond girl should say something like "Hello Monsieur Bond...my name ist Dr. Bouncié Booben von Slob Knobben...please untie me from ze train tracks, blofeld ist getting away!!!"

  • Irreversible

    Irreversible

    ★★★★½

    watching Irreversible, i'm reminded of that one interview gaspar noe gave where he said that hes disappointed there aren't more walkouts whenever he screens one of his movies. his films manage to hit so many pressure points in a short amount of time that its hard to gather your bearings, and that level of challenging the audience on an emotional and intellectual level is something i have a high amount of respect for. even if you despise his body of…

  • No Time to Die

    No Time to Die

    ★★★½

    the stuff in here that’s good is really really good and the not so good stuff is grating. i’m getting pretty tired of the wink wink “does the world REALLY need 007 anymore ;)” like yes you stupid bitch as long as these movies keep raking in 800+ million they’re never gonna let this old british hag retire! i miss it when bond movies really leaned into their goofiness. just let bond movies be bond movies. also for some reason…

  • Gone with the Wind

    Gone with the Wind

    ★★★★★

    genuinely never feels like 4 hours no matter how many times i watch it. tomorrow is another day.