Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills ★★★

”There’s a big fella in our bathroom… and he’s wearing a monster mask!”

Hi everybody.

I’m not going to whistle for you… I’m going to tell you a story. Any of you know the story of the Haddonfield Boogie Man?

Forty-three years ago a movie escaped from Hollywood about a madman who escaped from a mental hospital. Before the film was over three people would be murdered… and a nation would be entertained.

Listen! Folks, please. Some hardcore fans of that film have decided to make a trilogy of their own. And tonight the second movie of this series is on a rampage throughout our cinemas. The Boogie Man is at large. He’s got no choice but to emerge. He is an apex predator and when he surfaces there will be no pause. There will be no empathy.

There will be a hospital with a morgue that’s front and center with all of its blinds open so that citizens can gaze upon the mutilated corpses of their loved ones.

There will be filmmaking that gets so caught up in its own grandiose lecturing that it totally forgets to have fun.

And worse of all, several cabbage-heads will stupidly bring blunt instruments to a knife fight.

This series ends when Michael is dead. Which means Michael Myers will not be executed tonight and it will not go without witness. We need all of you. Watch evil not die tonight! Watch evil not die tonight! Watch evil not die tonight!

”On a scale from 1 to 10, what is your pain level with 10 being the worst?”

“I’m at eleven.”

Cinematic Time Capsule – 2021 Ranked

2021 U.S. Release Schedule

Cinematic Trailer Count – 2021

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