Welcome to my Cinematic Time Capsule!
Favorites are 5 star films that rotate on a whim.
”Prepare to be underwhelmed”
Hello, Letterboxd Reader.
I want to play a game.
The new Saw film is now arriving in theaters.
It is up to you to decide if it will be your next watch.
You have witnessed many movies, and maybe even other SAW films. But be careful. This film has as much in common with them as it does a cheap SE7EN knockoff.
You will have to decide if you are willing to be subjected to a…
”I prefer to lose myself in the dizzy food comfort of synthetic cheese and impossible meat."
Welcome to Guy Ritchie’s version of HEAT, in which he does away with all those pesky cops as well as any sense of a linear structure.
Seriously, the first half of this film feels like somebody accidentally dropped the only draft of the original script and scrambled to reassemble it before anyone noticed.
However, buried deep within is a pretty nifty Statham film that…
“Are ready to hear something wild?”
It’s hot sticky night and you’re waiting on a dock to inform a friend the details of how he’s being suspected of murder. While you wait what do you do? Stare at the ocean morosely? Smoke a cigarette anxiously? No, not if your Ted Danson. What you’d do is spend the time practicing an extended soft shoe dance routine.
You’re writing a screenplay and your protagonist…
”Beware the moon, lads.”
Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance
With the scars just below your eyes
A fantabulous night not to wear pants
'Neath the cover of the London skies
The wolves on the moors are howling
To the moon and the victims below
And I'm trying to avoid the calling
but I’m afraid it’s starting to show
You know that Jack’s corpse gives a whisper and push
”Not a single animal benefited from this war…not a single one.”
I have so many unanswered questions…
What happened to Don Lewis?
What does the word Bhagavan actually mean?
Do the pizzas vary from day to day depending on what Wal-Mart products are available?
And most importantly, where do I get the complete collection of uncut Exotic Joe music videos?
”Some mistakes were made…some attitudes got out of hand…”
”I think... you're coming in a little high, man.”
In the same way certain albums are best on vinyl, it feels like this horny drug induced dream is screaming to be viewed on VHS.
BONUS POINTS for the use of so many great SCTV actors.
”There was no way I was gonna walk around this place with my dork hanging out!”