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  • The Witches of the Orient

    The Witches of the Orient

    ★★★★½

    Feels like diving without a mask. Taped fingers, clutched shirts, bruised knees. All things tactile and remembered. Finally a film to disappear to.

  • Personal Best

    Personal Best

    ★★★½

    How is Kristy McNichol not in this movie?

    Mariel Hemingway and Patrice Donnelly run on the beach to "Rosalinda's Eyes" by Billy Joel.

    I want someone to call me "the greatest looking girl in San Luis Obispo."

    This is my favorite film that doubles as a Pee-Chee folder.

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  • Æon Flux

    Æon Flux

    ★½

    This is like a film that would be played, on mute, in the background during a party at your weird friend's house while he plays Ministry on a CD-R and some guy named Trevor talks about how he hates his job at Best Buy.

  • Speedy

    Speedy

    ★★★½

    Coney Island rides in the 1920s were more horrifying than anything dreamed up in the entire Nightmare on Elm Street series.

    I also dug this movie because there is a ten minute gag about a crab falling into Harold Lloyd's pocket and then it pinching unsuspecting bystanders. I told everyone about this scene at a pool party and not one person laughed. I am now ostracized and girls hate me.