• Fear Street: 1666

    Fear Street: 1666


    The first half is slow and predictable but my god, the atmosphere 🤌

    The second half is a classic fast-paced booby trap inferno. I did get emotional at the end, so they finally managed to make me care about the 1994 cast. Though that may have had more to do with the tenderness with which they treated the 1666 characters.

  • Fear Street: 1978

    Fear Street: 1978


    Superior to part one in almost every way. The characters are easier to get invested in because the ones who get the most screen time are simply kinder. The tropes and references are easier to slip into, like a well-worn pair of vintage jeans.

    There are major Sleepaway Camp and Goonies vibes. Part two took my interest in the series from vague to definite. The murders were less visually brutal and packed an emotional punch.

    The entire tone of this movie is what I was hoping for when Lovecraft Country came out.

  • Fear Street: 1994

    Fear Street: 1994


    EDIT: I have been reading your reviews and am VERY CONCERNED by the amount of people calling this a “mixture of Goosebumps and Scream.” Fear Street is a series of books (some related, some stand-alone) that have been published since 1989. They are all written by R.L. Stine for teenagers and have heavy themes of sex, gore, and psychological terror. These are best sellers. Go to a used book store and get your act together.

    I’ve been waiting for years…

  • Thir13en Ghosts

    Thir13en Ghosts


    This mansion has the worst aesthetics I’ve ever seen. This was a solidly one-star movie until the ending. Half a star added for non-supernatural gumption.

  • The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

    The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It


    The build-ups are scarier than the actual scares, which feels like a reversal on the formula of the first Conjuring movie. A very cheesy message about love conquering all weaves through the scenes of possession and ghostly flashbacks.

  • Promising Young Woman

    Promising Young Woman


    A truly depressing character study with an almost excellent soundtrack, parade of prime-time cameos, and candy-colored palette.

    edit: forgot to mention: walking through gravel and god knows what else in stocking feet? Unlikely.
    I can’t go into my further bugaboos without a spoiler tag, maybe I’ll watch it again someday and go point by point 🍬

  • When Marnie Was There

    When Marnie Was There


    Minus half a star, you know what you did.

    The biggest fantasy was someone getting their curls brushed and the curls immediately reforming. Anyway this movie made me feel like crying at least once every ten minutes and half the time I couldn’t really tell you why. Beautiful.

  • A Face in the Crowd

    A Face in the Crowd


    men do be like that

  • Nobody



    Clearly the everyman’s John Wick. Extremely satisfying to watch. They’re really selling the dream and now I’m spoiling for a fight.

  • I Care a Lot

    I Care a Lot

    Casting Rosamund Pike as a relentless self-serving asshole gaming the system? Groundbreaking*. A series of stilted monologues set in a charmless cinematic landscape. This movie is such a waste of time, a waste of potential talent. It’s like they cribbed some notes from the Cohen Brothers (there are touches of The Big Lebowski and The Ladykillers), but failed to actually inject, you know, a sense of HUMOR.

    You’re left wishing death on everyone within the first five minutes...but watching the…

  • Judy



    An incredible one-woman show. Utterly heartbreaking.

    There were moments when it felt I was truly looking at Judy Garland. Just for a second here and there the lighting and angle are exactly right.

  • Into the Woods

    Into the Woods


    There are a couple updates that I found refreshing and interesting but 90% of the Red Riding Hood singing and acting annoyed the shit out of me. It’s like she was doing an impersonation of the original actress doing an impersonation of a child. Though, to be fair, some of the cast was acting for a broadway stage while others were acting for a Disney musical while others were acting in a parody.

    The bright spots: The princes during Agony.…