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  • The Adventures of Robin Hood

    The Adventures of Robin Hood

    ★★★½

    shrek vibes as fuck

  • She Dies Tomorrow

    She Dies Tomorrow

    ★★★½

    (my review for Willamette Week, where i write a weekly repertory film column called “Get Your Reps In” btw!)

    Amy (Kate Lyn Sheil) knows for a fact that she’s going to die tomorrow. She’s seen things. Heard things. She just knows. Obviously, her best friend Jane (Jane Adams) doesn’t believe her at first. But then Jane begins having the same ominous visions. Now, Jane knows for a fact that she’s going to die tomorrow. As does Jane’s brother (❤️❤️❤️Chris Messina❤️❤️❤️), and…

  • The Island

    The Island

    ★★

    TWO ewan mcgregors?!?! what is this, fargo season 3?!?!?! 😝 haha but seriously folks, fargo season 3 is available to stream on FX on hulu

  • Claire's Knee

    Claire's Knee

    ★★★★½

    the story of an older man lusting after teens is an icky and taboo subject that's almost always mishandled, and, arguably, doesn't need to be told, but rohmer explores it with an unthinkable elegance. his definitive knack for dialogue translates the inexplicable into the explicable, pinning down the intricacies of desire's quicksilver nature: a flame that can be ignited and snuffed in the same heartbeat.

    i was especially struck by laura –– she's infinitely more of an interesting, intelligent, complex,…

  • The Muppets

    The Muppets

    ★★★★

    pretty disappointed that my favorite muppet rizzo the rat only makes a brief appearance. much like 1917, it seems like anti-rat propaganda. life’s a happy song when there’s rizzo by your side to sing along! 

  • Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!

    Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!

    ★★

    tad edward hamilton... my name is tad edward hamilton ... and there's a million dates i haven't won ... just you wait ... just you wait ....

  • Ratatoing

    Ratatoing

    lots to love here! :)
    -the exact same suiting up montage (all in front of a blank white background) shown three times in a 44-minute long movie
    -everyone is shrill and yelling with voices like nails on chalkboards
    -"YES DADDY I LOVE CHEDDAR"
    -cat walk hind leg, look like frog
    -all the lady rats are sexy -- thick thighs, ample tiddies. boy rats? they are shapeless blobs. thought "there's no way a single woman was involved in this production," only to discover afterwards that it is female-directed. suddenly, it's empowering!

  • Lovely & Amazing

    Lovely & Amazing

    ★★★½

    2001 jake gyllenhaal with dyed black hair and a dopo yumé t-shirt looks like an anime character. i’m giving him asian-passing privilege

  • American Gigolo

    American Gigolo

    ★★★★

    told friend that richard gere goes full-frontal here and he said “oh, you see his Gere Shaft?” 

    haven’t stopped thinking about this

  • Drowning by Numbers

    Drowning by Numbers

    ★★★★

    first film i've ever seen that plays out like an I Spy game :) numbers 1-100 appear in ascending order, either disguised in the background or the characters' dialogue, which helped to keep my scattered, internet-corroded brain engaged. not that audience engagement is necessarily peter greenaway's prime objective -- the more of his (eerily fascinating) work i watch, the more it becomes evident that he caters pretty exclusively to his own personal fixations, among them mostly being death/decay, loveless marriages,…

  • The Notebook

    The Notebook

    ★★★½

    fav part is when ryan gosling wakes up after a night of lovemaking on the floor of a plantation (🥴) and tells rachel mcadams he wants “pancakes, bacon, and chicken.” just a bonkers breakfast order. pancakes and bacon? ok! pancakes and chicken? sure, i guess! bacon and chicken? gonna have to stop you there

  • Pillow Talk

    Pillow Talk

    ★★★½

    not flawless by any means but at the end of the day it needed to be made — otherwise the 100% flawless perfect gorgeous inimitable divine effervescent superlative transcendent Down With Love (2003) wouldn’t exist. and neither would i