Branson has written 1,154 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    It’s interesting to watch Cuarón and the Harry Potter universe duke it out. He’s really giving it his all to make this world interesting and lived in and to give it some sort of internal logic, but Harry Potter as a property is just this invincibly bland behemoth that refuses to make any sense.

  • Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    What the hell is everybody’s problem this movie isn’t even that bad plus it’s fun as hell pull the sticks out of your ass godDAMN

  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park

    I’m laughing imagining somebody who’s never seen Jurassic Park reading my review of it to try and figure out if it’s worth their time.

  • Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

    Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

    I saw this twice: once with a friend who loved it and once with a friend who hated it. The one who hated it said it was stupid and the one who loved it also said that.

  • Porky in Wackyland

    Porky in Wackyland

    I don’t have a lot to add to the conversation here, just trying to counter all the dipshits who gave this anything less than the full stars option.

  • Duck Amuck

    Duck Amuck

    It’s weird that you can review individual Looney Tunes shorts. This is great. It’s Duck Amuck. Come on.

  • The Lost Boys

    The Lost Boys

    My favorite part of this movie is that it gradually gets more and more directed by Tex Avery as it goes on. It starts off as this moody, sexy story about a hot teenager and takes a hard turn into a madcap vampire hunt. Somebody should edit Hungarian Rhapsody over the climax. Not me though, I’m busy.

  • History of the Eagles

    History of the Eagles

    The best part of this nine hour movie is the last fifty minutes where they have every living rock star say “what’s so exciting about this band is that their best days are ahead of them!”

  • Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously

    Love this movie but it’s sort of a bummer watching Piscopo wear out his welcome in the first twenty minutes and then there’s like an entire hour left and he’s still there

  • Inherent Vice

    Inherent Vice

    Look it’s not bad but I didn’t like it. I watched it like two days after reading the book and honestly that was my bad because the whole time I was like “damn you’re just cutting every single funny moment from this to make it ‘serious.’”


    Probably a me problem and not a PTA problem but I choose me.

  • Jobs

    Jobs

    This movie sucks so bad but there’s something sweet and blameless and pure about how bad it is. You can see the reflection of an Oscar in Ashton Kutcher’s eyes the whole time and it’s honestly the most emotionally affecting storyline in the entire film.

  • 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

    13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

    Jim and Ron are both in this and they never acknowledge it. Bullshit.