Branson has written 1,187 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Final Destination 5

    Final Destination 5

    I really like that somebody on the production end clearly talked to death and was like "hey we're doing this as a 3-D one. You got any 3-D deaths?" and Death was like "It's really more about the artistry for me but I understand that people come to these movies to have fun and so I'll be happy to play ball." Death is totally sweet and professional behind the scenes. Stays in touch with all the actors, which is more…

  • Miss Congeniality

    Miss Congeniality

    Very charming. You know what you're getting from the first frame and Sandra Bullock is perfect. She sells the obvious superficial transformation and the subtle internal transformation while never making Gracie read as somebody she's not. The script is airtight, -basically every joke in the last twenty minutes is a callback- and the tone is light enough that the little flashes of satire you get during the beauty pageant feel fun rather than mean-spirited.  Only certain actors get their School…

  • Key Largo

    Key Largo

    Edward G. Robinson shows up about thirty minutes into this movie and steals it out from under everybody else. Not unlike Randal Graves in Clerks. The similarities mostly end there though.

  • A Bucket of Blood

    A Bucket of Blood

    I actually think this is sort of beautiful. You can feel Corman connecting to this material on a level it doesn't ask but that makes the whole thing richer than the lightly satirical horror-comedy it is on paper. That might be a little much but fuck you.

    Obviously Dick Miller is amazing in this. He's never anything less than great but he's really doing something special here. You can see how Walter's aw gee whiz bashfulness curdles into bitter, psychotic…

  • Cabaret


    Sally is so annoying. Not complaining so much as I am noticing.

  • Perfect Blue

    Perfect Blue

    Obviously a lot to love but I was especially into how Nobutaka Ike put all the weird characters' eyes really far apart, almost on the side of their heads like they evolved from prey animals.

  • A Hard Day's Night

    A Hard Day's Night

    Impossible to calculate the damage this did to my personality when I saw it at the tender age of 12. You almost can't even describe it as damage. Is the Gulf of Mexico where the asteroid hit even considered "damage?" No. It's just a part of the landscape now. I've healed over it. You either can or cannot relate to the feeling of having grown up loving Groucho Marx and then meeting John Lennon, the same type of guy but…

  • The Beatles: Get Back

    The Beatles: Get Back

    John: You gotta admit that John is funny. Like, come on. I know all the bad stuff about him. But you've gotta admit he was funny. We cannot have a productive dialogue if you won't meet me halfway on this. All the zoomer boys with haircuts like broccoli taking shots at him on TikTok can't touch how funny he is singing Two Of Us with Paul through clenched teeth. John has always been my favorite Beatle. Ever since I was…

  • Saw


    This one's sort of a drag compared to the others because everybody's refusing the call the whole time. It's like we get it, this isn't your first choice for how your day was gonna go. Everybody's got problems. Take me for example: my problem is I'm bored waiting for you to shoot that other guy.

  • Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

    Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

    Nowadays if they made this the CD cenobite would be the spotify logo. You can't make this stuff up!

  • Serial Mom

    Serial Mom

    "Fashion has changed!"

  • Retribution


    Not surprised that this swept the Reflectys, it's got some of the most amazing mirror work I've seen in a movie since Duck Soup.