Branson has written 1,148 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Possession


    First I thought Sam Neill looked like hot Mr Bean but as the movie went on and his grip on sanity loosened he started to look like hot Mark E. Smith. And once you get to that point there's no turning back...

  • Pandorum


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Humanity survived being brought to the brink of extinction only for everybody in those escape pods to die from the bends.

  • I Know What You Did Last Summer

    I Know What You Did Last Summer

    On some level this town deserved a serial killer.

  • C.H.U.D.


    A way slower burn than you'd think a movie called C.H.U.D. would have but it sort of works. Everybody learns as a child how horror is often a reflection of the anxiety of the times. Like how in the 50s people were afraid of communism or in the 30s people were afraid of Halloween decorations. Interesting to watch a movie grapple with homelessness and how the sociopaths in power are genocidally callous in their dealing with it. A few years later Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would mine a lot of this same visual language to address anxiety around badass teenagers who live in the sewers.

  • 28 Days Later

    28 Days Later

    One of my favorite movies at 14, I forgot how absolutely dogshit it looks. Works in the movie's favor more than a few times, but you're never not swimming upstream. You've gotta understand, I had never seen anything shot digitally like this and I was deeply charmed. Never again.

    I remembered the sequence with Cillian Murphy walking around an abandoned London to Godspeed You! Black Emperor being really cool and on rewatch I think "cool" was probably underselling it. It…

  • Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key

    Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key

    I asked Nicole what country this was from moments before the credits started and assaulted me with the most aggressively Italian sounds and images I've ever seen in my life.

  • It Follows

    It Follows

    Got into a fight with my friends afterwords about whether or not that guy did her a solid. I think by explaining the circumstances he mostly did but she's well within her rights to not appreciate it.

  • Tag


    Liked how this moved but I wasn't super in love with the twist. Sion Sono's having his cake and trying to eat it too. Is this feminist? Generally it seems like the answer is "sort of" but that's not a question that should be left to me.

    But at the end of the day that opening with the bus was great and I like a nice post rock soundtrack.

  • Cabin Fever

    Cabin Fever

    It's sort of charming how mean spirited this is. I think if almost anybody other than Eli Roth had made this lines like "why would you wanna kill squirrels?" "Cuz they're gay" would get more credit for being a joke at the characters' expense rather than proof that this is a movie for dumb frat guys by dumb frat guys. I dunno. In retrospect Eli Roth as a spiky haired stoner with a soul patch is such a funny and…

  • Final Destination 2

    Final Destination 2

    Upon returning to this I was confronted with how special this movie is to me. A beautiful rain-soaked early aughts world where everybody understands and on some level respects death's bizarre and weirdly sporting plan. None of it makes sense and anytime the movie starts to suspect you're onto how full of shit it is it explodes somebody. The plot is an excuse to get from one Rube Goldberg kill to the next. It's got as much in common with…

  • Cube


    This is why I always tell people not to get trapped in a deadly cube

  • The Blackcoat's Daughter

    The Blackcoat's Daughter

    There's an actress in this who sort of looks like Emma Roberts. It's not uncanny but it's enough that I was able to convince myself it was her and I just wasn't as familiar with what Emma Roberts looks like as I thought I was. So then when actual Emma Roberts showed up I was shocked by yet another silver screen miracle.