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  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    ★★★★★

    the Showa era is back in a BIG way, baby, and i am ALL FOR IT.

    in my review for Ghidorah, Three-Headed Monster, i talk about how the perfect Showa-era Goji formula is "barely serviceable characters plodding along and conveying an entertaining but barely serviceable plot, a collective vehicle to deliver one thing and one thing only: destructive, colorfully-characterized, Fun (with a capital F!) monster carnage.", and this movie is exactly that.

    ever since the Monsterverse started i've been waiting…

  • Monster

    Monster

    ★★★★

    this show seamlessly operates on a multitude of levels, selling to us a familiar world that reeks of societal rot.

    foremost, Monster is an absolute masterclass of character study. every single character introduced onscreen has untold depths and realistic flaws that are explored in an engaging almost operatic manner. it's that juxtaposition of grounded realism and execution/presentation in an operatic vein that makes the show compelling.

    the atmosphere only adds to the gripping intricacies of Monster's labyrinthine webwork of connective character arcs…

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  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★★

    Mortal Kombat as a franchise is always intrinsically accommodating the decade surrounding it.

    the first two live action films are the peak embodiment of the 90s, from the blare of their techno to the endearing shoddiness of their CGI, to the misty warmth of their multi-colored sets- the games themselves also further reflect this endearingly-dated approach to the franchise, with each subsequent entry (particularly the music) accommodating the trends of games around them.

    it's just unfortunate that Mortal Kombat (2021)…

  • Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

    Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

    ★★★★★

    pure fucking 90s phantasmagoria. the opening 10 minutes of the film and the ending half hour in particular are legitimately cinematic heaven.

    it's every schlocky and schitzy element of the first one BLOWN UP with zero filler and it's fucking amazing. it's 90 minutes of bonkers chroma-key compositional ADR techno insanity, with poorly-green screened B-movie no name actors doing kickflips and destroying foam sets wearing costumes that look like they're made of the same plastic as Solo cups.

    Annihilation fully…

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    vile and soulless, this film is a spit on the face to just about fucking everyone.

    it's less of a film than it is a saccharine, fake corporate apology, a desperate attempt to hold onto any remaining unalienated fans from abandoning ship.

    and by God, it's absolutely pathetic.

    yes, the film sloppily retcons thematic developments introduced in TLJ, while yes, also conveniently wraps up all of JJ's mystery box elements in 7 through a series of long and utterly boring…

  • The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    ★★★★

    it's telling how used to mediocrity we are from these CGI animated movies that something like The Mitchells vs. The Machines comes out and a lot of us are hailing it as a masterpiece.

    it's certainly a testament to animation's boundless creativity, with mere gestures such as character emoting presented with notable care and passion, melding mediums of hand-drawn and CG in an organic blend, but let's be real: the level of animation quality in this film should be the…