Favorite films

  • The Wayward Cloud

Recent activity

  • Gladiator

  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

  • Luca

  • As Good as It Gets

Recent reviews

  • Gladiator


    Pretty fuckin kinda really good lol

    Uncle Eric remarked at Thanksgiving time about a conversation he'd had with a friend:
    "I asked him, If you lived in ancient Rome, would you go to the gladiator fights? And he said, Yeah, I think I would! So I said, Yeah, so would I. I mean, the movie was pretty entertaining!"

    The gladiator fights were pretty entertaining.

    Djimon Hounsou.

  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Did not think Sean Baker's Red Rocket would be about a guy becoming a dog's boner

Popular reviews

  • World Record

    World Record


    The thing I would do so inhumanly well that I break the simulation is brushing my teeth. I would be going at it for 5 minutes, getting every crevice, scrubbing plaque away better than those damn dentists' tools ever could, finishing it off with a tongue-brush so thorough and so deep that I throw up, awakening my body in the real world and becoming aware of the matrix. The bathroom mirror glitches into a million pieces and my dentist materializes…

  • Who Is America?

    Who Is America?

    A man planted what he believed to be tracking devices onto three people and chose one at random from an iPad screen with the understanding that the tracking device would explode.

    "I've never participated in someone's death... Can we move around a little bit? I feel queasy."

    Imagine if I wrote an essay about how this show delivers a shocking diagnosis of American psychosis. That would be cute.