Favorite films

  • The Mummy
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • Jurassic Park
  • Twister

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  • Batman & Robin

    ★★★

  • Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

  • Richie Rich's Christmas Wish

  • Demolition Man

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin

    ★★★

    I’m not sure why everyone gets so upset about this movie. Like what else are these characters supposed to do? The only answer is slide down a dinosaur and say a pun followed by climbing onto the outside of a rocket ship and holding onto it as it took off into the sky. What else are these specific characters supposed to do? Gently go grocery shopping? No dumb ass. They’re supposed to surf on some doors onto the villain who…

  • Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    Everything about this movie is shit I do not need in my life at this time! A fathers arm falling off in the middle of the woods? Do not need. Alien punching it’s way out of a child? My body does not need this! Alien putting his head up to a woman’s face in the kitchen of what I believe is a Papa fucking John’s? do not need it. Here’s the thing- even if it WASNT a Papa John’s, the fact that I had any reason at all to believe it was is a problem. 

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  • No Sudden Move

    No Sudden Move

    ★★★

    Here is my impression of this movie:

    Someone did something, but what? Here are a bunch of guys. Why are they together? Who will show up next? Is it every other actor in existence? The answer is yes…or is it. Everyone wear socks on their face. NOW. And if anybody actually answers a question with anything other than the vaguest sentence known to man, so help me god, you’re fucking toast. Everyone’s cheating on everyone and no one is not…

  • Six Days Seven Nights

    Six Days Seven Nights

    harrison ford said to anne heche in this movie, “i think we’re gonna be here a long, long, long, long, long, long, long time” and i turned to my dad who was sitting next to me with a little smirk and said, “i bet it will only be for six days and seven nights” and my dad chuckled