• Hollywood Homicide

    Hollywood Homicide

    ★½

    The Good:
    Lou Diamond Phillips in drag
    Harrison Ford’s dad dancing
    A baby-faced Anthony Mackie
    Lena Olin

    The Bad:
    Pretty much everything else. It is desperate to be Lethal Weapon, but it ends up being more of a Water Pistol.
    Also: it is the most heinous crime against music to bastardise the mellifluous sounds of The Temptations’ My Girl into the tinny bleating of an early 2000s flip phone ringtone and to then compound that villainy by replaying it throughout the film ad nauseam.

  • Running with the Devil

    Running with the Devil

    ★½

    Like a brick of tainted cocaine, this has been cut to shit. Disjointed, barely coherent and a criminal waste of Cage and Fishburne (although the latter does have a couple of wild moments that leaven the crushing tedium).

  • Knight and Day

    Knight and Day

    ★★½

    The story of a control freak who struggles with the concepts of consent and personal boundaries, accompanied by the sounds of Hall & Oates and shit blowing up.

    I'd have been better off rewatching Romancing the Stone.

  • Last Night in Soho

    Last Night in Soho

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Amongst the many things about this film that didn't quite land for me (and there was a lot that I liked about it, particularly the fantastic mirror tricks in the first half), this is what is still bugging me a week later:

    - When Eloise / Ellie / Elle is searching the library microfiche for disappearances, why does she feel the need to start her search at the beginning of the Sixties? She could have Googled Thunderball's release date in…

  • Jexi

    Jexi

    ★½

    Somehow managed to be less creepy than Spike Jonze's Her.

  • Copshop

    Copshop

    ★★★★

    -Gun Creek would have been a far better title for this than Copshop.
    -It doesn’t wear its influences lightly, from the Magnum Force theme tune at the beginning to the overarcing riff on Assault on Precinct 13. This doesn’t make it any less fun.
    -Toby Huss is a shotgun blast of fresh air when he arrives, and Alexis Louder is an absolute badass standing muzzle-to-muzzle against a menagerie of scumbags.
    -As a general life rule, you can never have too much Curtis Mayfield.

  • The Land of Steady Habits

    The Land of Steady Habits

    ★★½

    On the one hand, Ben Mendelsohn is always worth watching, and he’s terrific in this. On the other, “miserable rich white people” is my least favourite genre.

  • Sweet Girl

    Sweet Girl

    Sweet Girl almost deserves a measure of grudging respect for trying something different. Unfortunately, that “something different” third-act reveal is an egregious, ludicrous cheat that completely threw me out of the film and prompted me to shout “No!” at the screen. I don’t mind preposterous thrillers, but this sails past preposterous into the realms of “aw hell no!”

  • Beckett

    Beckett

    ★★½

    A strangely inert, wonkily paced conspiracy thriller saddled with a title that evokes absolutely nothing whatsoever. Washington is a morass of odd tics and overwrought acting, Vicky Krieps has almost nothing to do and it’s shot in a flat anaemic wannabe-Gordon Willis style.

  • Bad Words

    Bad Words

    ★★★½

    Not quite as funny as I remember - I was howling with laughter the first time - and the film's nasty streak felt a whole lot nastier the second time around. And the moment I thought "Oh! It's Bad Santa meets Spellbound", it dipped a little more in my estimation.

  • Love Actually

    Love Actually

    ½

    Hugh Grant playing his signature role of “bumbling, repressed white middle-class Englishman” is joined by Colin Firth as “another bumbling, repressed white middle-class Englishman” and Andrew Lincoln as “third bumbling, repressed white middle-class Englishman”. Embracing diversity, Laura Linney appears as “bumbling, repressed white middle-class American woman”.
    Worse than I expected; crass in a multitude of ways; the Kris Marshall subplot is excruciating; the Martin Freeman-Joanna Page asides are toe-curling; and it’s all served up with hideous quantities of body-shaming, jingoistic tub-thumping and horrendous cultural stereotypes. Shit Actually.

  • Tenet

    Tenet

    ★★★

    Impressive if you have never seen an episode of Doctor Who. The sound mix renders most of the dialogue inaudible and Nolan remains not as clever as he thinks he is. Washington is badass though.