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  • Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

    Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

    I GAVE THIS MOVIE ITS TITLE! Sort of... Well, no... fuck "sort of." HELL YEAH, I DID.

    I've actually never seen the movie, but I just wanted to toot my own horn a little for attention.

    See, after the first movie was such a surprise hit, SyFy immediately ordered up a followup. So they put out an announcement of a contest to title the second movie. All you had to do was go on Twitter and enter. So, I came…

  • The Haunting

    The Haunting

    ★★★★★

    In "Best Of" horror lists, this movie consistently ranks somewhere around number 25. But I don't care what anyone says, it will always be my #1 favorite horror film. I first encountered it around 23 years ago when I worked at a mom-and-pop video store in Manhattan. I was in the midst of getting my film education from the dusty shelves full of VHS tapes. I had always been fascinated by ghost stories and had already had one of my…

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  • Don't F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer

    Don't F**k with Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I don't wanna come off like a know-it-all, and I'm sure some of you will think that anyway, but I do want to share my real experience of watching this. First of all, I think it's a brilliant documentation. It's built just like a fictional thriller, building tension in all the right ways and places. And during the first episode I genuinely got sick to my stomach. I can't handle animal cruelty. I'm somewhat empathic, in that I get sort…

  • Sarah and the Squirrel

    Sarah and the Squirrel

    ★★½

    A very odd hybrid of animation and live-action backgrounds that is more interesting than successful. It tells of a young Jewish girl whose family is forced to live underground in the woods when the Nazis invade. When her whole family is captured, she is left to fend for herself and she befriends a squirrel. After witnessing a failed attempt by some partisan fighters, she tasks herself with destroying the nearby bridge, which is vital to the Nazis, one brick at…

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  • Things Heard & Seen

    Things Heard & Seen

    ★★★★

    Let me just say this up front: If you are a heterosexual male, you will probably hate this movie. I hate to generalize, but I've already read some bad reviews by men and I just know this is not a guy kind of movie. It's chick-flick horror. And to be fair, yes, the film does lean pretty heavily on the female spirituality thing, especially in its rather disappointing and overblown denouement. But up until that, I was loving every second…

  • All-American Murder

    All-American Murder

    ★★★★

    A surprisingly good murder mystery with a resolution that genuinely took me by surprise, and when a mystery can still do that to me, I give it a lot of credit. It has a solid screenplay, maybe a little heavy on the jokey, but still well-written and different enough to keep things interesting. Christopher Walken is his usual fabulous self, weird and fascinating. And it's always great to see Joanna Cassidy in anything. She's an endlessly reliable actress and so…